Down

I’m quite down at the moment – sick family member, search for purpose, mid-cycle, etc. Seem to have found a way to manage martian. Relief. It’s interesting this mid-cycle depression – everything seems hopeless, writing this even seems pointless. And yet I know in a few days, everything will seem possible, purpose will seem clear, current fears will seem like ’so what!’’s. But when I’m here it all just seems so pointless. And I feel completely…alone. Perhaps part of the problem is I see everything – like I have a view of the earth and can see everything going to pot, instead of seeing little successes and the parts of the whole that make it worthwhile. Thing is, do I just stay in this space for a bit (knowing no way out of it) and wait it out or do I try and battle out, putting up posters of positive messages, and catching negative thoughts. I’m hoping that writing about it will in some way help me deal with it.

~ by gomhead on March 2, 2008.